Monday, December 8, 2008

(With Apologies to Mr. Obama).... A Season of Change

After eight seasons, EWD has stepped aside as commisioner of the Rice Not Lynn Hardball Dynasty world. As we enter season nine, Tiskingmoon has taken the reigns of leadership.

Ewd was forced to step aside after a "slight" company trip and an exhaustive 36 hour poker game left him the deed and ownership of the World Famous Bunny Ranch brothel (Ewd wanted me to remind you all, mention this post and receive 20% off any service ,excluding anything using whips, chains, or three foot midgets) where the conflict of interest could have reared its ugly head.

Tiskingmoon took it upon herself to declare that season nine "would be a season of hope.... a season of change... no longer would the big payroll teams be looked after..... this is a season for the underdogs.....

Congrats to Ewd for the change of jobs, and welcome Madam Commisioner.
(photos of Tiskingmoon above and Ewd below)

Thursday, August 28, 2008

NL EAST Preview


Darrel Kelly (.291 51 123 64SB) is a talented 25 yr old who makes people think of a young Willie Mays. The kid has it all, power, speed, and the talent to make a mark in the RNL Hall of Fame when he retires. Cookie Redondo (.313 46 133) makes a lethal 1-2 combo in any batting order. Bring aboard two talented experienced pitchers in Mateo Diaz and Miguel Borbon, and D.C. might be able to continue dominance in this division.


Chicago starts this year's campaign again having to see the same sights as last season. The pain of losing seven players to free agency was softened by the signing of four ( the average age of the signees was 36.9 yrs old). One has to wonder if Chicago management is just trying to stop gap fill until the youngsters are ready for the move up to the bigs. Milton May is a talented hitter who came over last year from D.C. and has provided the needed clubhouse leadership that was sorely lacking. Winning the division? Not this year. Final division standing? Second.


When looking at hard luck franchises in a league, New York is the prime example. The Shops have averaged at least 80 wins over the last 5 seasons but can't break into the spotlight of division champs. GM orangeboy summed up his team at the press luncheon as this " I think we can win as long as the injury bug avoids us. We always get out to a fast start then our lack of training kills us and we drop like rocks." Damaso Nunez has been asked to step in as the team ace and hopefully he can lead the squad to the coveted ring.

DURHAM DOGZ (70-92 4th)

With a five game slide in the win column from the previous season, Durham looks to try and stay competitive in this division. Fausto Serra (157 career saves) returns to a squad that looks to finish in the bottom of the division pool once again. Ebenezar Cyr is a strong young gun that has become the face of the franchise. Right smack dab in the middle of his contract, Cyr needs to show he's ready to shoulder this team on. Quinton Jenkins, another youngster should provide backup in the lineup to force pitchers to throw strikes at Cyr. Vin Turner looks to rebound from a disappointing season 7 (5-10 4.14) to help keep the young staff in line.

Projected Finish

1) Washington D.C. Capital City Capitals
2) Chicago Untouchables
3) New York Chop Shops
4) Durham Dogz

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

NL NORTH Preview

Scranton consistantly finds themselves fighting for the lead in the second half of this division. Stevie Juden (.284 45 128) and Roy Barclay (.274 32 74) lead the team at the plate and show no signs of slowing down. Amp Anderson (18-5 3.59) hopes to duplicate last year's success and try to break into the upper half of the division. If the injury bug keeps away, Scranton will make a steady run for first.

Toronto has been the class act of this division since its inception. The Toronto GM has always had a knack of finding the players needed every year to keep this team atop the division as well as the league. Todd Curtis ( 396 career HR) is on pace for another monster year at the plate. Steve Garcia (.344 avg / 14 game hitting streak) is always a concern for the opposing pitchers. As much as this team boasts a "Murderer's Row" the achillies heel seems to be the pitching staff. No one on this team looks to be the odds on favorite for a clear No. 1 starter and instead of a "bullpen by commitee" the whole staff must work together to keep the team going.

Bryan Ball (14-7 3.58) and Pablo Cortes (6-6 38 SV) lead a pitching staff that brought Detroit the first taste of champagne in a long time. The Motor City Mashers look to defend their division championship this season and with the teachings of Pitching Coach Steven Black, the Numbnuts look to have 1 or 2 20 game winners. The top two HR guys of last years team left in contract disputes and now the Nuts look for some of the youngsters to step up.

The Montreal franchise moves south into the shadow of New York and the fans in New Jersey are welcoming them with open arms. Steven Whiten (.328 54 140 / 52 HR average over the last five years) is the face of the franchise. Lenny Lunsford (12-13 3.73) becomes the ace of the staff and unless the reast of the crew steps up this may be a long season in Jersey.

Projected Finish
1) Toronto
2) Scranton
3) Detroit
4) Trenton

Rice Not Lynn Season EIGHT

It's that time of year again. Spring has come, the grass in our stadiums is mowed, and the freshly painted baselines beckon us to another season of triumph, heartbreak, and general silliness.

RNL is eight years old. I've been a member since season three. Many owners start to jump ship after season five as they feel that the league has pretty much run its course. The difference in our league is that each season brings new challenges, new owners, new friends. Every year we all spend the time building, or updating, or even ripping apart and trying new things on our teams. Every season we live and die with our players. We bring an identity to our franchises. WE LIVE OUR TEAMS.

And that is why we have the best league in this game. We care about it, we take pride in it, and we strive to help each other be the BEST in this game.

Gentlemen, I lift a pint of ale and wish us all a great season..... great fun..... and hopefully the playoff picture doesn't get setled until game 162.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Hot Bats

National League -American League


1. Gary Jeffries (CH1) 40- Ramon Lee (Phi) 45

2. Cookie Redondo (Was) 29- Martin Perkins (Sal) 42

3. James Kennedy (MC) 28- Paxton Roberts (Phi) 36

4. Darrel Kelly (Was) 27 -Jose Barcelo (Bal) 31

5. Damon Moreno (MC) 26 -Tony Benson (Jac) 31


1. Nate Mullin (Tor) 90 -Martin Perkins (Sal) 97

2. Gary Jeffries (Ch1) 86- Ramon Lee (Phi) 96

3. Harry Ramirez (Wic) 85 -Bey Roosevelt (Bos) 92

4. James Kennedy (MC) 81 -Anthony Hodges (SD) 90

5. Shooter Munro (NY2) 79 -Ruben Saenz (Bos) 87


1. Todd Curtis (Tor) .381 -Damaso Posada (Bos) .353

2. Dewey Prince (Mon) .381 -Apollo Henry (Syr) .352

3. Xavier Davis (Wic) .360 -David Amaro (SD) ..352

4. Steve Garcia (Tor) .360 -Khoury Shaw (Mnt) .348

5. Nate Mullin (Tor) .356 -Bey Roosevelt (Bos) .341

Injury Update

Here's the walking wounded for the week....

15 Day DL - name -team -eligible return date

Apollo Henry Syracuse ( 6/17)

Dave Krause Oklahoma City (6/18)

Joe Truman New York 1 (eligible now)

Diego Diaz Nashville (eligible now)

Tony Conti Montreal (6/25)

Cesar Fernandez Montreal ( 7/10)

Victor Sparks Mexico City (6/18)

Jose Lima Jacksonville (6/19)

Greg Erickson Jacksonville (eligible now)

Ryan Smith Iowa City (eligible now)

Dutch Morgan Detroit (6/24)

Ken Houston Columbus (eligible now)

60 Day DL

Jorel Benes Washington DC (6/21)

Lariel Flores Nashville (6/24)

Pablo Machado Monterrey OUT FOR SEASON

Dave Truman Monterrey OUT FOR SEASON

Alejandro Redondo Kansas City OUT FOR SEASON

Darryl Brown Houston OUT FOR SEASON

Charles Kelly Helena (7/7)

Casey Romero Fargo OUT FOR SEASON

Alberto Aparicio Detroit OUT FOR SEASON

Don Gang Baltimore OUT FOR SEASON

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Wanna score?

The Wichita Jay Hawks have been on a tear recently, winning six in a row and taking the division lead. Questions arose about how this could happen and we here at the DSG asked the tough questions until we found out.

According to Hawks GM afeigenb..." We were strugling and just couldn't the team to focus. As much as we didn't want to blame the bench coach, it was a change we HAD to make. It seems that it was the right one."

And we'd have to agree. We found a picture of the Jay Hawks new bench coach...

(I'd try to score everytime I'm up to bat)


Last year Syracuse ran away with the division on the way to it's second straight World Chamionship. Everyone had to give credit to EWD and his hours and hours of research on player development and his masterful roster moves.

That was last season.....

This season, Syracuse finds themselves tied for second and 1 game behind. Although that would be acceptable for most of the GMs, EWD can't live with it. Why is this happening?..... The picture supplied by the famous sports papparazi Ernesto J. Gallo might be an expalnation.

Hey... we give you the info.... you make the decisions.....

Leave no pick behind....

For the second year in a row, the SYRACUSE franchise had the final pick in this year's draft. Without further adieu, we introduce this year's MR. IRRELEVANT:

Santiago Mendoza.

Santiago was chosen with the 811th and final pick of this year's draft. Mendoza is 21 years old and plays LF for the SUNY Potsdam Bears. For his JR season he hit .201 with 5 HR and 12 RBI. His biggest contribution to his college team is that he knows the quickest route to 7-11 for Bubble Yum.

Draft Update.....

The seventh draft day has come and gone and here is the update from BASEBALL AMERICA on the top ten picks this year.

1. NEW YORK KABOOMS -Damaso Seguignol age:20 P
Chosen with the first pick, Damaso comes with pinpoint accuracy bu has issues with velocity. His 4 seam fastball is hittable, but when he tosses in the changeup or the slider he can be downright nasty. Baseball America scribes have him listed as a potential ML pitcher within two to three years.

2. MONTERREY DESERT DAWGS - Chris Everett age: 18 P
Chris is a long term project with almost no chance of seeing the ML until at least four years from now. His velocity is a problem and left handers have been banging him all over the yard this year in HS. Monterrey's hope is that he can settle down and find himself.

3. HOUSTON COLT 45's - Ken Burns age:21 P
Ken was 7-3 with a 1.29 ERA at the Citadel this year and the scouts have all agreed that there is no reason why he can't translate his performance into professional ball. A talented three pitch hurler, Ken's only weakness seems to be his injury bug (almost 60 days missed during college) and his ability to adapt to the schedule of the pro world. As one scout remarked on draft day "Great potential, sky's the limit with dis kid."

4. TEXAS RATTLERS - Otis Tartabull age:21 SS
Picture the defense of Ozzie Smith with the power of A-Rod and you come up with Otis. His performance on defense is only enhanced by his bat. He'll put you in the lead with a mammouth HR and then make a great diving stop to save the game. Led Cal. State Poly with HR and RBI(12 45).

5. MONTREAL TRAIN WRECK - Louis Diaz age:22 RF
The University of Arkansas Fayettville was sad to see him graduate. In his four year career Louis hit .392 and dropped 90 bombs with over 220 RBI on his opponents. Leading his team to four consecutive conference championships, we here at Baseball America consider him to be the steal of the draft. This young man is ready for the big leagues now and any time spent in the minors will just be a waste of talent.

6. CHICAGO UNTOUCHABLES - Winston Spurgeon age:20 C
This pick puzzeled us as we couldn't figure out why this was the first catcher taken in the draft. Spurgeon has an excellent bat, and his batting eye will remind fans of Rod Carew. He won't strike out a lot, and he's the batter we'd love in the bottom of the ninth down by one with runners on the corners. However, he's a defensive liability. His calling is designated hitter and might as well leave the glove at home.

7. OKLAHOMA CITY LAWMEN - Valerio Abreu age:18 SS
The second SS taken in this year and with good reason. He's only a High Schooler, but he shows the makeup of a seasoned veteran. He won't impress anybody with his power but he's a student of the game and as his HS coach told us " Val spends just as much time as we do in the clubhouse studying. He believes he needs to know eveything about his next opponent." Defense and mature attitude make this pick great.

8. HELENA BULL RIDERS - Cliff Sasser age:18 P
Sasser led the Washingtoin Avengers to the Class 6A Kansas high school championship with a 6-0 0.92 record. We project Cliff to be a mid level reliever, only because he doesn't have a fastball. Cliff reminds us of a Hoyt Wilhelm who survived 20+ seasons with junk. His attitude shows greatness, but he'll need plenty of seasoning in the minors to make the jump up to the bigs.

9. DURHAM DOGSZ - Morrie Gailard age:20 2B
Morrie impressed the writing staff here at Baseball America with his unique bating style. As he stands in waiting for the pitch, the bat is all over the place like he's swatting at flies. But let him see a pitch he likes, and he'll put it into play. He'll play a decent defense but with suspect arm strength, the defense set up will have to shade the second base side. Perhaps being too rough on himself, his makeup and patience will need help. He's definatlely a project and we project him as a potential AAA starter or capable ML backup.

10. IOWA CITY INDIANS - Sparky Paul age:18 2B
Every year a pick is made that totally stumps us. I mean, like we have to sit here and wonder what the GM was smoking to make this pick. Sparky is it. Ignored by all the scouts we tried to piece together what was available. He graduated Northern HS where he was actually a sub at second. For the two years he played varsity he hit .268 with 1 HR and 35 RBI. The only plus we could find about him was the 18 SB in 19 ATT. Iowa must have some super secret scouting staff or they didn't realize that a first pick should actually make the team.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008


1. 13 tied with 2
2. 12 tied with 1

1.Barry Uribe (NY2) 0.00
2. Bryan Ball (DET) 0.75
3. Livian Manuel (HOU) 0.93
4. Benito Gonzales (CHY) 1.00
5. Quilvio Pineda (NAS) 1.38

Miguel Borbon (MC) 5/5

Batting Leaders NL

1. 9 tied with 4
2. 12 tied with 3
3. 3 tied with 2

1. Tony Merced (NY2) 15
2. 3 tied with 12
3. 6 tied with 11
4. 8 tied with 10
5. 3 tied with 9

1. Shooter Munro (NY2) .528
2. Xavier Davis (WIC) .520
3. Steve Garcia (TOR) .500
4. Lou Cooper (MON) .486
5. Robert Faulkner (IA) .485

NL North Preview

Last years NL North division winner still looks to be the class of the division. While hampered by some key losses over the off season, Detroit managed to bring in some quality players to hopefully keep this storied franchise in winning mode.
KEY LOSSES: Joe Decker (1-1 2.84 4 SVS)
Mateo Diaz (5.40 ERA)
KEY ADDITIONS: Wally Kent (8-9 3.04)

Toronto finished second last year, and GM sportsboy is not happy about it. "We had a couple of bad streaks including the dropping of our final 4 games, that killed us. We aren't going to let that happen again this year."
KEY LOSSES: Dan Justice (.279 26 87)
Onan Ming
KEY ADDITIONS : Robert Ulrich ( left via FA but resigned)

Scranton all but had third place sewn up in this top division last year. With Toronto and Detroit looking to fight it out again this year, Scranton must pretty much settle for third again. Their only hope is that major injuries occur to the top two and that many of their players have career years at once.
Ryan Charles
KEY ADDITIONS: Angel Lugo (acq in trade with BOS)
Danys Barrios (FA signing)

MONTREAL TRAIN WRECK (64-98 as Helena Nobodies)
Somebody has to ride in the caboose and new GM dabears2334 will have to bring loads of magic dust to even think about touching third in the division. The good news is that there is no pressure on the franchise which means low expectations bring greater surprises. The bad news is that being buried behind Detroit and Toronto seems to be the norm.
KEY LOSSES : Aaron Blair (.307 18 101 in AAA)
KEY ADDITIONS : No new players but all arbitration eligible resigned.


Toronto 98-64
Detroit 97-65
Scranton 75-87
Montreal 53-109

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

With the greatest thanks.....

"..... And as we mourn those who gave all, we must give thanks to those who took their place. Those who came to help, offer support, and those who braved the dangers to keep the torch of freedon alive......."
Rudy Guliani , Sept. 13, 2001
I will take this time to thank all of you who passed on your love and regrets about my mother-in-law passing on April 20. My wife, who only knows you all as those &*^%$$#^ who keep beating me passes on her thanks also.
MADMULDOON who is a friend from the Wailing Onions world, is the closest thing to the type of owner we always look for in this world. He sitemailed me almost immediatly and offered to babysit my teams while I had to get through this difficult situation. I can never thank him enough, and I will always be indebted to him for his kindness and patience. I ask all of you to drop him a line and thank him for his generosity.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

New Changes!!

Yes, we are back. After successfully fighting off a takeover bid by the unscrupulous Rupert Murdoch, we here at the Ducksnort Gazzette are back.

This season our goals are simple.
1) Provide important news to our league.
2) Provide some inside thoughts on what happens in the league.
3) Keep the league news fun yet informative.
4) Keep the quality high while trying to keep our team out of the cellar.

Monday, March 17, 2008

You take evens, I'll take ODDS......

We recently chatted with Tony (Da Nose) Ciglaterri, a (ahem) noted Las Vegas odds maker about what he sees in the RnL League for the series. As you can see, he was more than happy to tell us what the odds makers in Vegas are dropping cash at......

Syracuse Orange Sherbets 5-3
Detroit Numbnuts 3-2
Toronto Argonauts 2-1
Salem HammerJacks 4-1
Huntington Mountaineers 6-1
Vancouver Canadians 8-1
Washington D.C. Capital City Caps 10-1
Columbus Corrupt Congressmen 15-1
Jackson Jakkers 18-1
Fresno Faith 18-1
Durham DOGZ 20-1
Toledo Turtles 20-1
Wichita Jay Hawks 25-1
Cheyenne Vice Presidents 25-1
New York Chop Shops 40-1
Louisville loosers 50-1
Kansas City Masterpiece 50-1
San Diego Baby Seals 50-1
Baltimore Orioles 50-1
Mexico City Gigante Sombreros 55-1
Pittsburgh Panthers 60-1
Boston Red Sox 75-1
Scranton Beetfarmers 80-1
Honolulu Five O's 80-1
Fargo Takedown Kings 80-1
Chicago Banana Slugs 100-1
Charleston Chews 100-1
Oklahoma City Lawmen 150-1
Houston Colt 45's 175-1
Helena Nobodies 200-1
Cincinnati Chili 225-1
Monterrey Desert Dawgs 525-1

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

You know your team sucks.....PT. 2

Monterrey - Today Hideo Kim, Monterrey's 3rd round (80th pick overall) after weeks of dancing during negotiations has stated that ice hockey is in his future and not baseball. Monterrey GM Reigny, was quoted coming out of closed door 7 hour last ditch negotiations as saying " We are disappointed. Hideo was asking 1.6 MIL and we came back with 4.5 with immediate assignment to AAA. He unfortunatly thinks that he stands a better chance of higher endorsements through pro hockey. We wish him the best and we must now move on."

Monterrey must have known this outcome was coming as they signed international prospect Ignacio Seguiginol before negotiations broke down.

Monday, March 10, 2008

You know your team sucks......

(Confessions of an owner stuck in limbo)

Recently, in the chat forum, an owner declared that players were available. Looking over the list he provided, and taking a look at his roster, I proposed a trade (or at least some players I felt I could part with). He answered back rather quickly, and of course for about the 30th time this season I heard it again. The franchise is a little bare. The franchis is a little bare..... i.e. your team sucks..... nobody on your team merits looking..... where did you find those guys...... That one response pretty much sums up the season. I can't make any impact trades because I don't have "impact players". Realization struck, and it seems that as the owner of the team I have to say that the draft and escalating salary games with Free Agents will be my only answer. Am I leaving?.... No..... Am I finally realizing that I'm the Kansas City Royals or the Pittsburgh Pirates of the RNL world?.... yes.....

The truth hurts.... but hey.... now the real job of being a GM starts.......

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Rookie Impact on the league.......

Some of the exploits of the draftees at their new teams........

Donatello Waner has played in three games with the Oklahoma City Hi-A franchise where he's batting .231 with 0 HR and 4 RBI.

Jaime Roberts gave the Monterrey fans something to hope for when he pitched 5.0 innings and gave up 1 ER with 3 SO. Desert Dawgs GM Reigny was quoted as saying "If he can continue his learning and give us a few more quality starts we might even call him up to the big show for our Sept. drive"

Jerome Sikorski brings a 1-0 4.50 ERA record to this report after tossing an 8.0 inning 4 ER performance. Mr. Sikorski was warmly greeted in his win by 3 dingers given up.

Candy Paronto has appeared in three games for the Lo-A Honolulu team and he's discovering that wooden bats are way different than the aluminum. Without saying he's struggling (he's already dialed 9 once with 3 RBI) he's hitting .167

Please sign on the dotted line.......

One day after the draft and the first round signings are already starting. The reknowned sports representation agency Dewey, Screwem, and Howe has been very busy trying to collect on their percentages for the signings. As reported in here is what we can verify:

1)OK City and Donatello Waner have agreed on a 4MIL signing bonus and he was immediatly shipped to their Hi-A farm club.

2)Houston and Jake Morehead are still negotiating and his agent Abdullah Woodward says that the 3.9MIL bonus while fair, is still a sticking point.

3)Monterrey and Jaime Roberts barely let the ink dry on his 3.82MIL bonus before he was shipped out to AA.

4)Honolulu and Candy Paronto agreed on a 3.72MIL signing and as of press time he's jetting off to the Lo-A franchise to begin his career.

5)Cincinnati and Babe Radinsky still in closed door discussions with inside sources saying that he's looking for a guaranteed 3.6MIL bonus plus invitation to the ML club for spring training. Louis Watson the renowned sports agent looks to be pulling out all the stops on keeping the holdout going.

6)Sam O'Shea representing James Lee and Charleston GM KoruptKings are locked into negotiations on a 3.5MIL signing bonus. O'Shea intends to use his client's DI scholarship offer as a tool in the negotiations. Inside sources at Charleston's front office have said that they can wait out any pick and the ball is in Lee's court.

7)Alex Santiago agreed to a 3.4MIL bonus and eagerly jumped on the plane to the team's RL franchise. Alex has said that he wasn't going to hold out and thinks his best course of action was to get ready for the upcoming season.

8)Johnny Black and Louisville hammered out a 3.3MIL signing bonus minutes after he was drafted. He was shipped out to the RL team and reports say he was greeted as a conquering hero.

9)Nicholas Pagnozzi and Boston agreed on a 3.2MIL contract (he was assigned to the Rookie team) and Nicholas was quoted by Baseball America as saying " I'm happy to be joining this historic franchise. To know that they thought highly of me to make me the no. 1 pick is just awesome. "

10)Mexico City and Jamie Sikorski threw a fiesta grande after he agreed to a 3.1MIL signing bonus. The major sticking point in negotiations was placement after signing and it was eventually agreed by all to start in AA.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Who's your daddy......

(Paging Pedro Martinez.... Pedro Martinez..... Mr. Martinez please bring your midget and report to the Toronto franchise......)

Toronto (41-18) meeting Syracuse (49-10). Two franchises that have been the gems of their leagues. Two franchises built like the powerhouse Yankees, modeled after the Oakland/LA/Oakland Raiders "Just Win, Baby" theory. A meeting of epic proportions.....

aw hell..... Syracuse bent Toronto over and slapped their ass like a cheap porn stud doing the 18 yr old wannabe starlet.

Game 1. Syracuse 12 Toronto 0
Junior Malone ('member him, the probable 20 game winner) 2 hit shutout

Game 2 Syracuse 11 Toronto 2
Davey Lee driving in three runs.

Game 3 Syracuse20 Toronto 4
Bruce Lincoln dialing 9 and driving in 7 runs.

Syracuse 43 runs to Toronto scoring 6.

what else can I report..... (goes to find a towel to wipe off after the money shot)

And the Red Lantern Award goes to.....

As in the Iditarod Race we are pleased to award the coveted red lantern to this year's Mr. Irrelevant....

Duffy Jackson

Duffy is 22 years old, B/T right 5'10" 173lbs. He was born in Clayton NY and plays 2B for the Lander University baseball team.

Duffy has the distrinction of being the last pick in this year's draft which reads as

Round: 25 Pick: 813 Team: Syracuse

Calls to his agent Bing Herges provided us with the info that he's seeking a $15,000 signing bonus on top of the MILB salary of $7,650.00 which totals to $22,650.00. Calls to Syracuse GM Ewd have not been returned, but insiders say that Syracuse in all liklihood will not sign him.

Close the window, I feel a DRAFT......

The sixth annual Amateur Draft took place this morning, and we have the first ten picks listed here .

1) OK City. Donatello Waner (20/ss/Muskegon Comm. Coll.) Waner joins OK City and brings a strong arm, with accuracy and power. Slow afoot, he makes up for it in range. Powerful, compact swing, Waner should adjust to the wooden bats and launch some mammouth HRs.

2) HOU Jack Morehead (22/2b/ Yale University) Morehead should provide adequate coverage down the middle, something Houston has been desperatly needed. Not really known for his fielding, his bat is the reason why he's no.2 in this year's draft. Showing great power against BOTH left and right hand pitchers. Look for 20-30 SB a season from him and bringing an AVG of around .290 - .300.

3) MNT Jaime Roberts (22/P/ Southeastern LA ) Roberts brins a wicked fastball that scouts have clocked at the mid 90's. Right now he's got to show he can control his accuracy and his temper needs some work, but with the right coaching and seasoning, he should become a stable 2-3 SP in the rotation.

4)HON Candy Paronto (22/LF/Campbell University). Paronto is a left fielder with some questions concerning his outfield play. Right now he might be considered more of a liability, but the Honolulu staff should be able to help him with his glove. Great batting eye combined with awesome bat strength should provide plenty of bombs for ESPN highlight reels.

5)CIN Babe Radinsky
(22/ss/ Purdue) Radinsky is a true mystery in this top ten. Not ranked anywhere in the top 20 for the position, Cincinnati GM RSCaramelo believes that Radinsky has the tools to make an impact on the franchise. A quick look at Baseball America showed us that Radinsky batted .389 with 12 HRs and 45 RBI while leading the Boilermakers with a .997 fielding pct. and 18 SB.

6)CHR James Lee (18/RF/Washington HS (IA)) Lee is a definite future prospect. Coming out of HS he will need a ton of work on his fielding, but he shows great promise with the bat. His L/R ratio is above average, and his power comes from a short, compact swing. The only mark will be the fact that he goes up to the plate swinging, and with the hitting staff at CHR he should learn to sit back on pitches, and let the count work to his advantage. If signed, he's a 3-4 year player at the earliest.

7)CH1 Alex Santiago (18/P/St. John's Jesuit HS (MI)) Santiago is a 6'3" powerhouse SP. Already possessing 4 great pitches in his arsenal, his only drawback may be his control. If he signs, he probably could bypass the RL and start right in AA. Again the fact of coming out of HS might be a concern with his temper, as he showed the scouts that he can rattle easy. Comparisons have him as a younger Randy Johnson.

8)LOU Johnny Black (22/2B/U of Alabama) Another middle infielder that is a mystery to this reporter. Black seems to have jumped above some of the better rated 2B in this draft. Calls to LOU GM Bradriddell have gone unanswered. USA Today has reported that he's an average fielder, with an average bat, but his attitude makes up for his lack of talent.

9)BOS Nicholas Pagnozzi (18/P/Valley Falls HS (KS)). Pagnozzi comes to the Boston franchise with a 4 pitch arsenal, but the main concern for his managers will be the fact that he's a flyball pitcher. Almost all of his hits will see the outfield and unless he develops pinpoint accuracy in painting the corners, he might be serving up runs galore. On the plus side, his durability should insure between 150 - 200 innings per season.

10)MC Jerome Sikorski (22/P/Tenn. Tech. Univ.) Brings a five pitch arsenal to the game and his velocity has been clocked at the mid to high 90's by scouts. Not afraid to challenge hitters, and will use his fastball to set up a changeup that almost looks like slow motion. Right now lefties have a better chance against him but within 1-2 years, he's going to be a stable 2-3 slot in the ML pitching rotation.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Gopher Love is in the air.........

[URL=]Fausto Concepcion[/URL]

And our next award this season goes to Fausto Concepcion of the San Diego Baby Seals. It seems that Fausto (1-5 7.91 ERA) has a unique pitching style. It can only be described as a "3/4 overhand delivery style that ends with his upper body twisting and stopping directly behind him with head held upright"..... For those of you who are not baseball scouts..... the boy has tossed 23 Gopher balls into the stands.

Want a cheap gift for the baseball enthusiast in your life? Attend any game Fausto is pitching, buy a centerfield ticket and oh yeah... bring a mitt.


Syracuse.... good team or "blessed".....

The Syracuse Orange Sherbets have amassed an almost unheard of record of 48-9 so far in this season. They seem to be able to win the games that they shouldn't, and it has caused quite a stir in the ownership circles.

Syracuse GM EWD has stated that his team is able to win by pure baseball skills being displayed by the players of this fine franchise. Most would agree that "God" is on his side. You decide... as you can see from this surveilance photo taken by the commisioner's office.... the figure on the left has been identified as Ewd.... the figure on the right... seems to be ...well... God.

Special prosecutor Bart Simpson has vowed (bad choice of word usage for this article) to keep investigating until satisfied.

Monday, March 3, 2008

Beam... Chris Beam....

Chris Beam.... Home against the Monterrey Desert Dawgs. The game before you pitched 6.1 innings and gave up 5 earned runs. You're a 23 yr old pitcher trying to make a name for yourself in the ML. What do you do?..... THROW A NO HITTER.

Chris Beam tossed a beautiful no-no against the Desert Dawgs winning 13-0 on only 89 pitches. With the exception of a first inning error allowing a man on base and a walk in the third, Chris showed remarkable pinpoint accuracy with his pitching.

Monterrey 000 000 000 0 0 0
Salem 322 003 00X 10 13 1

Friday, February 29, 2008

Albatross Update.....

Timo was released by Cincinnati today.

Call it poor pitching.
Call it lack of talent.
Call it like it is...... Jessica Simpson is a curse.

The eyes of the league are upon you......

Joey Malone..... you have been designated to be the first pitcher to reach 20 wins. The first pitcher to show superiority in this league, the first pitcher to be able to hold his head up high and stand tall on the mound....

(Joey, can you feel the pressure yet)

Just checking.

Rice Wars II..... Revenge of the Redsox

FENWAY PARK, BOSTON MA.- Following accusations by the Syracuse and the Vancouver franchises of cheating by the Redsox, Genghisxcon, (pictured here)

held a press conference in the stuffy confines of Fenway Park to address the situation. Below is the response that he read.....

"It has been brought to the league commisioner's office that Boston has been accused of cheating over the last week. The commisioner, seeing that the integrity of the league is at stake has named Mr. Simpson to be the special prosecutor and lead investigator of the charges. We have sent notice to Mr. Simpson that we intend to fully co-operate in this witch hunt, and that if it comes to a conclusion of anything other than pure nonsense, we will have no choice but to shrink his head."

The Commish strikes back!!!!!

In response to the "negative" feedback that the commisioner's office has been hearing about the Boston Red Sox.... a new special prosecuter has been named.
Bart Simpson will investigate the claims.

It seems that the first calls of "cheating" by the Boston franchise were brought up after Boston beat perrenial powerhouse Syracuse. The Syracuse GM loudly decried that testing was needed ASAP.

Days later Canadiens GM douglasdao also claimed that Boston was winning by using "unconventional" means (sources say the word "curse" was used).

Wouldn't you love to have this albatross?

The Cininnati Chili execs have come to believe they found the reason for the current six game slide. Nope... it's not bad pitching..... and hey... they still have great hitting.... it's ....JESSICA SIMPSON!!!!!

Yes, the one time doomsday vixen for Tony Romo and the Cowboys has now worked her jinx magic on the Chili. The National Enquirer will soon publish photos of our girl Jess and starting pitcher Timo Mori (0-6 7.43 ERA) coming out of an exclusive Japanese sushi bar/karoke club in the late hours of the night. While Mori was trying to hide from the photogs... Jess was heard to exclaim "Who said Japanese guys are small.... and hell yeah, Timo can toss that spitter all night long".

RsCaramelo, the Chili executive GM was unavailable for comment.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Team Streaks presented by FOREIGNER.......

HOT BLOODED...check it and see......

Current ML winning streaks
Huntington Mountaineers 10 games
Toronto Argonauts 6 games
Vancouver Canadiens 6 games
Jackson Jakkers 4 games

Mexico City Gigante Sombreros 4 games
Toledo Turtles 4 games
Cincinnati Chili 3 games
Wichita Jay Hawks 2 games

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Aren't you supposed to protect a win?.....

Stuart Ruffin the bench coach and Dan Nen the pitching coach must need plenty of Rolaids. Vic Johnson, the 26 yr old Set Up reliever from Coon Rapids MN, really must not understand his job qualifications. Seven times he's been asked to come in and set up for the Banana Slugs closer, and you got it.... six of the seven times, he's blown the save opportunity. Yep... he's the first recipient of the DENTYNE ICE gum award.

3w- 3L 6.75 ERA 1SV 7SVO

Don't worry guys... that's only $300,000 per blown save.

Keeping the international terminals busy.....

Two international players signed over the past couple of days by Cincy and Helena.

Helena signed 18 yr old catcher Fernando Espinosa, who doesn't seem to have a rocket arm or the ability to call a good game, but scouting reports have his bat power above average.

Cincinnati inked 19 yr old P.T. Martin, a pitcher who relies more on control that a blazing fastball.

Both have yet to be assigned.

The vote is in....

Team owners have spoken and have called me an idiot.

61% said another team will win the World Series.
(I wonder if they considered Monterrey or Cincinnati when voting)

This post brought to you by UHAUL.....

Boston and Detroit decided that it was time to swap some minor leaguers (possibly building for the future?).

Mike Marte joins Boston's AAA club bringing a .295 9 32 while Edgar James joins Detroit at the big league level (.277 10 55 in season 5 AA).

Meanwhile, Toronto continues to drop high priced veterans in search for younger prospects to continue the winning tradition. Leaving Toronto for Wichita ( don't pack a winter coat) is Derek Peterson (.750 1 4) joining Wichita's big club. Applying for work visas are Turner Martin (.231 2 20); Pep Leary (.380 8 21); and Pat Radlosky ( 1-3 4.98). Martin and Leary stay in AA while Radlosky moves up to AAA.

Nah nah nah nah... say goodbye...

Leaving Monterrey is SP Bobby Williams (0-2 11.25) and C/1B Alex Branson (.327 2 6).

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

It happens every spring......

Ah.... spring /summer in Monterrey. For the past three seasons the Desert Dawgs have teased the home crowds with glimpses of winning. Then like a classic Freddie Krueger movie... they viciously rip out our hearts. Case in point (for this season).....

Monterrey opens the season 3-7, rips off a nice 7-3 streak to take over first place in the AL SOUTH with a 10-10 record. Not a powerhouse record by any means but it brought a pride to this sleepy Mexican vacation oasis. The damn Dawgs then go 1-9 and are currently in the midst of a 6 game slide that once again has propelled them into last place.

If the past seasons are any indication, the Dawgs will go on two or three 8-10 winning streaks about mid season, before the eventual 13-15 game slide that dooms them once again.

Monday, February 25, 2008

A stroll down memory lane......

Whatever happened to the top five picks from last draft.....

1)HOU Juan Benitez (18yo P) given 4MIL bonus
After signing his contract, Juan proved almost immediate success for the Houston franchise. Last year in the RL he posted a 3-1 1.82 which got him a promotion to Lo-A where he posted 3-0 4.01. This year he's in Hi-A and is currently 5-0 2.54 ERA. GRADE A

2)BOS Trent Cairncross (18yo SS) given 5MIL bonus
Trent started with a flourish in the RL last year posting monster numbers (.393 6 27). After his promotion to Lo-A he showed it was no fluke posting .313 4 17. This year in Hi-A he once again is showing muscle (.341 10 44) GRADE A

3)HON Frank Cornelius (21yo CF) given 4.8MIL bonus
Following the top two picks in the draft Frank also did split time with RL and Lo-A last season. In the RL he showed great power in 34 games hitting .423 11 53 earning his bus ticket to Lo-A. There he only took it upon himself to post equal numbers (.324 11 43). This year he finds himself opening at Hi-A where 36 games into his season he's ONLY hitting .373 11 36. GRADE A

4)CIN Talmadge Logan (18yo P) given 3.7MIL bonus
Logan spent the entire year last season in RL where control seems to have eluded him (26 W 19SO). It was a frustrating year that saw him finish with a 0-2 6.94 record. Opening this season at Lo-A, he showed much improvement posting 1-1 2.12 in four starts, thus earning a trip to AA, where he's back to form (0-2 8.44). Cincinnati management has stated that he's still a young man trying to find himself within the rigors of the season. GRADE C-

5)MNT Lazy Doster (20yo P) given 3.6MIL bonus
Doster gave to the Monterrey franchise with high expectations, and the GM said that he was going to be brought along slowly to keep him fresh. Last season at the RL level he posted a 6-7 5.64 record in 21 starts. Showing signs of a powerful fastball also showed weakness in his SO vs. W ratio. He opens the season this year at AA where in 6 starts he's 2-3 with a 3.94 ERA. GRADE C


Last week I received a call from a friend's wife. It seems that her husband, who did his best to call her every night and reassure her that he was safe and fine, missed two calls in a row. I emailed him almost constantly, not only because he was co-GM of my team here but he also ran a couple of my "other" teams in other leagues. I to, didn't get any messages.

Sgt. Bradley Skelton, 40, died of injuries sustained from an explosive device in Iraq. I bring this up because Brad was always a friend, baseball nut, and best bud when you needed it. He had an infectious laugh and was constantly needling me on some of the roster moves I made. Brad looked forward to coming home, actually being able to join in a league I had a team in, and kick my ass to prove that I should have stayed in soccer.

Freedom brings sacrifice.... friendship brings heartache.....loss brings sorrow.....

God bless Brad and all the others who gave all

Friday, February 22, 2008

Hey Brother can you spare a ........

Toronto and Hunington swapped young prospects in a trade that met little resistance from the league owners.

Now donning an Argonaut jersey is 23 yr old Ken Kidd (.301 5 30) who assigned him to AAA.
Looking stylish in the Mountaineers gear is 23 yr old Billy Dodd (2-0 6.67) bringing his youthful exhuberance to the Mountaineer's ML roster.

The CHILI needs ingredients.....

The Cincinnati Chili have been busy over the last forty eight hours adding three players in their possible stretch to a pennent. Said the Chili's head chef "We feel that we're only a few players short of playoff contention in all levels so hopefully these moves kick start our organization."

Trade no. 1
Chili get Stephen Carroll (23) P 2-1 4.63 ERA assigned to ML
Banana Slugs get Steve Dolan (23) 2B .205 5 15

Trade no.2
Chili get Teddy Ray (29) P 1-4 7.26 ERA assigned to ML
Scott Donnelly P 4-0 2.38 ERA assigned to AA
Baby Seals get Enrique Trevino (22) INF .291 7 25 assigned to AAA

Thursday, February 21, 2008

We woulda named it the Titanic but it was used already...

Lowest Winning Pct. in League History

5. Cincinnati .423
4. Honolulu .420
3. Monterrey .417
2. Boston .346
1. Houston .337

* These do not reflect solely on the current owners but the franchise since inception.

Why use a bat .....

League leaders in offering up their bodies as target practice...

Luis Figueroa (FRE) 5
Dickey Yashian (MC) 5
Lorenzo Owen (SWB) 5
Four tied with 4
Fifteen tied with 3

They come and go.....

Cincinnati released pitcher Denny Leach (0-1 12.79)
Pittsburgh claimed pitcher Alex Perez (0-1 18.41) off waivers

Move 'em out...... reports that Detroit and Oklahoma City have put the finishing touches on a trade that to the naked observer looks to help Detroit right now and give O-City some help for the future. Detroit packaged Mickey Myette (0-3 6.08), Adam Wesson (.348 2 13), and Nerio Knobluach (.225 5 16) for Keith O'Neil (0-1 1.17 5 SV).

O'Neil reported to Detroit and should be available for the next game out of the bullpen.
Myette was sent to AAA, Wesson to AA, and Knoblauch to Hi-A.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

In the Army now......

Monterrey today signed two pitchers from their tryout camp. Miguel Romero (20) and Deion Dunston (21) both signed minor league contracts and are awaiting their designations. Said Rookie League pitching coach Josias Johnson " Romero has a pretty good raw fastball while Dunston is a pinpoint artist. We think that with a couple of seasons in the minors (mostly RL and Lo-A) we might have found us a couple of diamonds"

Abner created the game with bats.....

Top ERA in both leagues

Rey Whitman (TOR) 1.39
Darren Service (WAS) 2.03
Pedro Saenz (NY2) 2.16
Pedro Guardado (MC) 2.25
Neil Everett (TOR) 2.45

Harold Mays (SD) 0.75
Garry Byrnes (TOL) 2.03
Alex Andujar (SD) 2.65
Brent Buck (PIT) 2.70
Gary Byrnes (SYR) 2.74

Calling George Mitchell...

Here are the top bombers in each league...

Eric Riley (FRE) 14 Roland George (CHY) 10
Luis Alomar (CIN) 13 Kevin Key (NY2) 10
Del Taylor (CHR) 11 Dave Adams (TOR) 10
David Jose (SYR) 11 Four tied with 9
Ramon Lee (TOR) 11

Welcome to America

Honolulu signed international free agent EDGAR LUGO today to a three year contract worth $977,000 over 3 years. Lugo, a top pitcher in the Dominican Republic was assigned to their Low A team and placed into the no. 3 slot in the pitching staff. Honolulu GM vkhcougar was quoted as saying "Lugo brings a tight fastball and he can eat big innings for us. You'll be seeing this boy in the majors within 2 - 3 years"

Welcome to the News Page

Welcome all to our new RICE NOT LYNN news page. It has been a long time in coming, and it promises to be an exciting addition to our league. I will try to update at least once a day, and I welcome all owners to pass on any information that I may miss in the course of running my team and trying to keep up with trades and streaks and such.

Good Luck on the season and hope this page can kepp you entertained.

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