NL North Preview

DETROIT NUMBNUTS (109-53)
Last years NL North division winner still looks to be the class of the division. While hampered by some key losses over the off season, Detroit managed to bring in some quality players to hopefully keep this storied franchise in winning mode.
KEY LOSSES: Joe Decker (1-1 2.84 4 SVS)
Mateo Diaz (5.40 ERA)
KEY ADDITIONS: Wally Kent (8-9 3.04)

TORONTO ARGONAUTS (100-62)
Toronto finished second last year, and GM sportsboy is not happy about it. "We had a couple of bad streaks including the dropping of our final 4 games, that killed us. We aren't going to let that happen again this year."
KEY LOSSES: Dan Justice (.279 26 87)
Onan Ming
KEY ADDITIONS : Robert Ulrich ( left via FA but resigned)

SCRANTON BEETFARMERS (78-84)
Scranton all but had third place sewn up in this top division last year. With Toronto and Detroit looking to fight it out again this year, Scranton must pretty much settle for third again. Their only hope is that major injuries occur to the top two and that many of their players have career years at once.
KEY LOSSES: Tom Allen
Ryan Charles
KEY ADDITIONS: Angel Lugo (acq in trade with BOS)
Danys Barrios (FA signing)

MONTREAL TRAIN WRECK (64-98 as Helena Nobodies)
Somebody has to ride in the caboose and new GM dabears2334 will have to bring loads of magic dust to even think about touching third in the division. The good news is that there is no pressure on the franchise which means low expectations bring greater surprises. The bad news is that being buried behind Detroit and Toronto seems to be the norm.
KEY LOSSES : Aaron Blair (.307 18 101 in AAA)
KEY ADDITIONS : No new players but all arbitration eligible resigned.

SEASON 7 PROJECTED FINISH:

Toronto 98-64
Detroit 97-65
Scranton 75-87
Montreal 53-109

With the greatest thanks.....

"..... And as we mourn those who gave all, we must give thanks to those who took their place. Those who came to help, offer support, and those who braved the dangers to keep the torch of freedon alive......."

Rudy Guliani , Sept. 13, 2001

I will take this time to thank all of you who passed on your love and regrets about my mother-in-law passing on April 20. My wife, who only knows you all as those &*^%$$#^ who keep beating me passes on her thanks also.

MADMULDOON who is a friend from the Wailing Onions world, is the closest thing to the type of owner we always look for in this world. He sitemailed me almost immediatly and offered to babysit my teams while I had to get through this difficult situation. I can never thank him enough, and I will always be indebted to him for his kindness and patience. I ask all of you to drop him a line and thank him for his generosity.

Jeff

New Changes!!

Yes, we are back. After successfully fighting off a takeover bid by the unscrupulous Rupert Murdoch, we here at the Ducksnort Gazzette are back.

This season our goals are simple.
1) Provide important news to our league.
2) Provide some inside thoughts on what happens in the league.
3) Keep the league news fun yet informative.
4) Keep the quality high while trying to keep our team out of the cellar.

You take evens, I'll take ODDS......

We recently chatted with Tony (Da Nose) Ciglaterri, a (ahem) noted Las Vegas odds maker about what he sees in the RnL League for the series. As you can see, he was more than happy to tell us what the bookies....er.... odds makers in Vegas are dropping cash at......

Syracuse Orange Sherbets 5-3
Detroit Numbnuts 3-2
Toronto Argonauts 2-1
Salem HammerJacks 4-1
Huntington Mountaineers 6-1
Vancouver Canadians 8-1
Washington D.C. Capital City Caps 10-1
Columbus Corrupt Congressmen 15-1
Jackson Jakkers 18-1
Fresno Faith 18-1
Durham DOGZ 20-1
Toledo Turtles 20-1
Wichita Jay Hawks 25-1
Cheyenne Vice Presidents 25-1
New York Chop Shops 40-1
Louisville loosers 50-1
Kansas City Masterpiece 50-1
San Diego Baby Seals 50-1
Baltimore Orioles 50-1
Mexico City Gigante Sombreros 55-1
Pittsburgh Panthers 60-1
Boston Red Sox 75-1
Scranton Beetfarmers 80-1
Honolulu Five O's 80-1
Fargo Takedown Kings 80-1
Chicago Banana Slugs 100-1
Charleston Chews 100-1
Oklahoma City Lawmen 150-1
Houston Colt 45's 175-1
Helena Nobodies 200-1
Cincinnati Chili 225-1
Monterrey Desert Dawgs 525-1

You know your team sucks.....PT. 2

Monterrey - Today Hideo Kim, Monterrey's 3rd round (80th pick overall) after weeks of dancing during negotiations has stated that ice hockey is in his future and not baseball. Monterrey GM Reigny, was quoted coming out of closed door 7 hour last ditch negotiations as saying " We are disappointed. Hideo was asking 1.6 MIL and we came back with 4.5 with immediate assignment to AAA. He unfortunatly thinks that he stands a better chance of higher endorsements through pro hockey. We wish him the best and we must now move on."

Monterrey must have known this outcome was coming as they signed international prospect Ignacio Seguiginol before negotiations broke down.

You know your team sucks......

(Confessions of an owner stuck in limbo)

Recently, in the chat forum, an owner declared that players were available. Looking over the list he provided, and taking a look at his roster, I proposed a trade (or at least some players I felt I could part with). He answered back rather quickly, and of course for about the 30th time this season I heard it again. The franchise is a little bare. The franchis is a little bare..... i.e. your team sucks..... nobody on your team merits looking..... where did you find those guys...... That one response pretty much sums up the season. I can't make any impact trades because I don't have "impact players". Realization struck, and it seems that as the owner of the team I have to say that the draft and escalating salary games with Free Agents will be my only answer. Am I leaving?.... No..... Am I finally realizing that I'm the Kansas City Royals or the Pittsburgh Pirates of the RNL world?.... yes.....

The truth hurts.... but hey.... now the real job of being a GM starts.......

Rookie Impact on the league.......

Some of the exploits of the draftees at their new teams........

Donatello Waner has played in three games with the Oklahoma City Hi-A franchise where he's batting .231 with 0 HR and 4 RBI.

Jaime Roberts gave the Monterrey fans something to hope for when he pitched 5.0 innings and gave up 1 ER with 3 SO. Desert Dawgs GM Reigny was quoted as saying "If he can continue his learning and give us a few more quality starts we might even call him up to the big show for our Sept. drive"

Jerome Sikorski brings a 1-0 4.50 ERA record to this report after tossing an 8.0 inning 4 ER performance. Mr. Sikorski was warmly greeted in his win by 3 dingers given up.

Candy Paronto has appeared in three games for the Lo-A Honolulu team and he's discovering that wooden bats are way different than the aluminum. Without saying he's struggling (he's already dialed 9 once with 3 RBI) he's hitting .167