If you build it..... they WILL come.

The New York Kabooms led by GM Madmuldoon today invited the RNL press corps to the historic unveiling of their new 56.9 million dollar luxury skybox renovation. Citing the need to bring in more fans (at a premium price, of course) the team asked for and was given tax free municipal bonds to omplete the work. Said Muldoon when asked, "With these seats we can lower the price of a beer from $29.00 to $22.00 a cup and we can scrap the "Free Brie and Spinach quiche with every white wine spritzer " idea we were developing with Wolfgang Puck. See the attached picture f the new seating.

Who needs the Oscar when you can win this?

While Hollywood was celebrating the best of the motion picture industry with the Oscars, we here at the Gazette decided to award the First Ever FUZZY BUNNY BASTARD AWARD FOR INCOMPETENCE.

The criteria is secret, the voting participants not known, but after careful consideration..... the winner is .....

Reigny... GM of the Monterrey Desert Dawgs.

(since joining the world in season three... the Dawgs have failed to impress, brining a career record of 386-748 .304 with 5 consecutive 100 loss seasons) and so we give you the award.

Season TEN.... The Winds of Revolution

Season ten has come upon us. Revolution has occured. The governing regime has been toppled. The new leadership has begun. All Hail our new commisioner......Douglasdao (pictured here). But how did this happen?... the Ducksnort Gazette has the scoop.

As season nine ended tiskingmoon decided that after a great and highly succesful season, she was going to get some rest and relaxation. After hopping on her private jet and jaunting off to Switzerland, she was seen entering Herr Kipling's Spa and Cosmetic Enhancement Camp. It was then that douglas made his move. Calling in his "new recruits", he shamelessly campaigned for the commish job saying that all teams in his league would have the chance to compete for the crown, not just the rich. At the winter GM meetings (held in beautful Burbank CA at Cliff's Wonderland Hotel, home of the rubber sheets and four hour nap 555-Cal-lCliff), without the slightest whimper, the change was complete.

You may ask who he enlisted to help him in his coup, and although the CIA, NSA, and the National Zoo refused to release their service records, we were able to sneak a quick picture of his companions. They are identified as Madison Lager GM btonn, Cleveland Rocks honcho jimdecrew, and Sacramento Solons boss, greekhero46. (Seen above from left to right ). We welcome our new administration and look forward to many years of solid leadership andultra right wing razzing.

(With Apologies to Mr. Obama).... A Season of Change

After eight seasons, EWD has stepped aside as commisioner of the Rice Not Lynn Hardball Dynasty world. As we enter season nine, Tiskingmoon has taken the reigns of leadership.

Ewd was forced to step aside after a "slight" company trip and an exhaustive 36 hour poker game left him the deed and ownership of the World Famous Bunny Ranch brothel (Ewd wanted me to remind you all, mention this post and receive 20% off any service ,excluding anything using whips, chains, or three foot midgets) where the conflict of interest could have reared its ugly head.

Tiskingmoon took it upon herself to declare that season nine "would be a season of hope.... a season of change... no longer would the big payroll teams be looked after..... this is a season for the underdogs.....

Congrats to Ewd for the change of jobs, and welcome Madam Commisioner.

(photos of Tiskingmoon above and Ewd below)

NL EAST Preview

WASHINGTON D.C. CAPITAL CITY CAPITALS (103-59 1st)

Darrel Kelly (.291 51 123 64SB) is a talented 25 yr old who makes people think of a young Willie Mays. The kid has it all, power, speed, and the talent to make a mark in the RNL Hall of Fame when he retires. Cookie Redondo (.313 46 133) makes a lethal 1-2 combo in any batting order. Bring aboard two talented experienced pitchers in Mateo Diaz and Miguel Borbon, and D.C. might be able to continue dominance in this division.

CHICAGO UNTOUCHABLES (71-91 3rd)

Chicago starts this year's campaign again having to see the same sights as last season. The pain of losing seven players to free agency was softened by the signing of four ( the average age of the signees was 36.9 yrs old). One has to wonder if Chicago management is just trying to stop gap fill until the youngsters are ready for the move up to the bigs. Milton May is a talented hitter who came over last year from D.C. and has provided the needed clubhouse leadership that was sorely lacking. Winning the division? Not this year. Final division standing? Second.

NEW YORK CHOP SHOPS (84-78 2nd)

When looking at hard luck franchises in a league, New York is the prime example. The Shops have averaged at least 80 wins over the last 5 seasons but can't break into the spotlight of division champs. GM orangeboy summed up his team at the press luncheon as this " I think we can win as long as the injury bug avoids us. We always get out to a fast start then our lack of training kills us and we drop like rocks." Damaso Nunez has been asked to step in as the team ace and hopefully he can lead the squad to the coveted ring.

DURHAM DOGZ (70-92 4th)

With a five game slide in the win column from the previous season, Durham looks to try and stay competitive in this division. Fausto Serra (157 career saves) returns to a squad that looks to finish in the bottom of the division pool once again. Ebenezar Cyr is a strong young gun that has become the face of the franchise. Right smack dab in the middle of his contract, Cyr needs to show he's ready to shoulder this team on. Quinton Jenkins, another youngster should provide backup in the lineup to force pitchers to throw strikes at Cyr. Vin Turner looks to rebound from a disappointing season 7 (5-10 4.14) to help keep the young staff in line.

Projected Finish

1) Washington D.C. Capital City Capitals
2) Chicago Untouchables
3) New York Chop Shops
4) Durham Dogz

NL NORTH Preview

SCRANTON BEETFARMERS (76-86 3rd )
Scranton consistantly finds themselves fighting for the lead in the second half of this division. Stevie Juden (.284 45 128) and Roy Barclay (.274 32 74) lead the team at the plate and show no signs of slowing down. Amp Anderson (18-5 3.59) hopes to duplicate last year's success and try to break into the upper half of the division. If the injury bug keeps away, Scranton will make a steady run for first.

TORONTO ARGONAUTS (95-67 2nd)
Toronto has been the class act of this division since its inception. The Toronto GM has always had a knack of finding the players needed every year to keep this team atop the division as well as the league. Todd Curtis ( 396 career HR) is on pace for another monster year at the plate. Steve Garcia (.344 avg / 14 game hitting streak) is always a concern for the opposing pitchers. As much as this team boasts a "Murderer's Row" the achillies heel seems to be the pitching staff. No one on this team looks to be the odds on favorite for a clear No. 1 starter and instead of a "bullpen by commitee" the whole staff must work together to keep the team going.

DETROIT NUMBNUTS (98-64 1st)
Bryan Ball (14-7 3.58) and Pablo Cortes (6-6 38 SV) lead a pitching staff that brought Detroit the first taste of champagne in a long time. The Motor City Mashers look to defend their division championship this season and with the teachings of Pitching Coach Steven Black, the Numbnuts look to have 1 or 2 20 game winners. The top two HR guys of last years team left in contract disputes and now the Nuts look for some of the youngsters to step up.

TRENTON TERRIBLES (70-92 4th)
The Montreal franchise moves south into the shadow of New York and the fans in New Jersey are welcoming them with open arms. Steven Whiten (.328 54 140 / 52 HR average over the last five years) is the face of the franchise. Lenny Lunsford (12-13 3.73) becomes the ace of the staff and unless the reast of the crew steps up this may be a long season in Jersey.


Projected Finish
1) Toronto
2) Scranton
3) Detroit
4) Trenton

Rice Not Lynn Season EIGHT

It's that time of year again. Spring has come, the grass in our stadiums is mowed, and the freshly painted baselines beckon us to another season of triumph, heartbreak, and general silliness.

RNL is eight years old. I've been a member since season three. Many owners start to jump ship after season five as they feel that the league has pretty much run its course. The difference in our league is that each season brings new challenges, new owners, new friends. Every year we all spend the time building, or updating, or even ripping apart and trying new things on our teams. Every season we live and die with our players. We bring an identity to our franchises. WE LIVE OUR TEAMS.

And that is why we have the best league in this game. We care about it, we take pride in it, and we strive to help each other be the BEST in this game.

Gentlemen, I lift a pint of ale and wish us all a great season..... great fun..... and hopefully the playoff picture doesn't get setled until game 162.