Albatross Update.....

Timo was released by Cincinnati today.

Call it poor pitching.
Call it lack of talent.
Call it like it is...... Jessica Simpson is a curse.

The eyes of the league are upon you......

Joey Malone..... you have been designated to be the first pitcher to reach 20 wins. The first pitcher to show superiority in this league, the first pitcher to be able to hold his head up high and stand tall on the mound....

(Joey, can you feel the pressure yet)

Just checking.

Rice Wars II..... Revenge of the Redsox

FENWAY PARK, BOSTON MA.- Following accusations by the Syracuse and the Vancouver franchises of cheating by the Redsox, Genghisxcon, (pictured here)

held a press conference in the stuffy confines of Fenway Park to address the situation. Below is the response that he read.....

"It has been brought to the league commisioner's office that Boston has been accused of cheating over the last week. The commisioner, seeing that the integrity of the league is at stake has named Mr. Simpson to be the special prosecutor and lead investigator of the charges. We have sent notice to Mr. Simpson that we intend to fully co-operate in this witch hunt, and that if it comes to a conclusion of anything other than pure nonsense, we will have no choice but to shrink his head."

The Commish strikes back!!!!!

In response to the "negative" feedback that the commisioner's office has been hearing about the Boston Red Sox.... a new special prosecuter has been named.

Bart Simpson will investigate the claims.

It seems that the first calls of "cheating" by the Boston franchise were brought up after Boston beat perrenial powerhouse Syracuse. The Syracuse GM loudly decried that testing was needed ASAP.

Days later Canadiens GM douglasdao also claimed that Boston was winning by using "unconventional" means (sources say the word "curse" was used).

Wouldn't you love to have this albatross?

The Cininnati Chili execs have come to believe they found the reason for the current six game slide. Nope... it's not bad pitching..... and hey... they still have great hitting.... it's ....JESSICA SIMPSON!!!!!

Yes, the one time doomsday vixen for Tony Romo and the Cowboys has now worked her jinx magic on the Chili. The National Enquirer will soon publish photos of our girl Jess and starting pitcher Timo Mori (0-6 7.43 ERA) coming out of an exclusive Japanese sushi bar/karoke club in the late hours of the night. While Mori was trying to hide from the photogs... Jess was heard to exclaim "Who said Japanese guys are small.... and hell yeah, Timo can toss that spitter all night long".

RsCaramelo, the Chili executive GM was unavailable for comment.

Team Streaks presented by FOREIGNER.......

HOT BLOODED...check it and see......

Current ML winning streaks
Huntington Mountaineers 10 games
Toronto Argonauts 6 games
Vancouver Canadiens 6 games
Jackson Jakkers 4 games

YOU'RE AS COLD AS ICE.......
Mexico City Gigante Sombreros 4 games
Toledo Turtles 4 games
Cincinnati Chili 3 games
Wichita Jay Hawks 2 games

Aren't you supposed to protect a win?.....

Stuart Ruffin the bench coach and Dan Nen the pitching coach must need plenty of Rolaids. Vic Johnson, the 26 yr old Set Up reliever from Coon Rapids MN, really must not understand his job qualifications. Seven times he's been asked to come in and set up for the Banana Slugs closer, and you got it.... six of the seven times, he's blown the save opportunity. Yep... he's the first recipient of the DENTYNE ICE gum award.

3w- 3L 6.75 ERA 1SV 7SVO

Don't worry guys... that's only $300,000 per blown save.