Albatross Update.....

Timo was released by Cincinnati today.

Call it poor pitching.
Call it lack of talent.
Call it like it is...... Jessica Simpson is a curse.

The eyes of the league are upon you......

Joey Malone..... you have been designated to be the first pitcher to reach 20 wins. The first pitcher to show superiority in this league, the first pitcher to be able to hold his head up high and stand tall on the mound....

(Joey, can you feel the pressure yet)

Just checking.

Rice Wars II..... Revenge of the Redsox

FENWAY PARK, BOSTON MA.- Following accusations by the Syracuse and the Vancouver franchises of cheating by the Redsox, Genghisxcon, (pictured here)

held a press conference in the stuffy confines of Fenway Park to address the situation. Below is the response that he read.....

"It has been brought to the league commisioner's office that Boston has been accused of cheating over the last week. The commisioner, seeing that the integrity of the league is at stake has named Mr. Simpson to be the special prosecutor and lead investigator of the charges. We have sent notice to Mr. Simpson that we intend to fully co-operate in this witch hunt, and that if it comes to a conclusion of anything other than pure nonsense, we will have no choice but to shrink his head."

The Commish strikes back!!!!!

In response to the "negative" feedback that the commisioner's office has been hearing about the Boston Red Sox.... a new special prosecuter has been named.

Bart Simpson will investigate the claims.

It seems that the first calls of "cheating" by the Boston franchise were brought up after Boston beat perrenial powerhouse Syracuse. The Syracuse GM loudly decried that testing was needed ASAP.

Days later Canadiens GM douglasdao also claimed that Boston was winning by using "unconventional" means (sources say the word "curse" was used).

Wouldn't you love to have this albatross?

The Cininnati Chili execs have come to believe they found the reason for the current six game slide. Nope... it's not bad pitching..... and hey... they still have great hitting.... it's ....JESSICA SIMPSON!!!!!

Yes, the one time doomsday vixen for Tony Romo and the Cowboys has now worked her jinx magic on the Chili. The National Enquirer will soon publish photos of our girl Jess and starting pitcher Timo Mori (0-6 7.43 ERA) coming out of an exclusive Japanese sushi bar/karoke club in the late hours of the night. While Mori was trying to hide from the photogs... Jess was heard to exclaim "Who said Japanese guys are small.... and hell yeah, Timo can toss that spitter all night long".

RsCaramelo, the Chili executive GM was unavailable for comment.

Team Streaks presented by FOREIGNER.......

HOT BLOODED...check it and see......

Current ML winning streaks
Huntington Mountaineers 10 games
Toronto Argonauts 6 games
Vancouver Canadiens 6 games
Jackson Jakkers 4 games

YOU'RE AS COLD AS ICE.......
Mexico City Gigante Sombreros 4 games
Toledo Turtles 4 games
Cincinnati Chili 3 games
Wichita Jay Hawks 2 games

Aren't you supposed to protect a win?.....

Stuart Ruffin the bench coach and Dan Nen the pitching coach must need plenty of Rolaids. Vic Johnson, the 26 yr old Set Up reliever from Coon Rapids MN, really must not understand his job qualifications. Seven times he's been asked to come in and set up for the Banana Slugs closer, and you got it.... six of the seven times, he's blown the save opportunity. Yep... he's the first recipient of the DENTYNE ICE gum award.

3w- 3L 6.75 ERA 1SV 7SVO

Don't worry guys... that's only $300,000 per blown save.

Keeping the international terminals busy.....

Two international players signed over the past couple of days by Cincy and Helena.

Helena signed 18 yr old catcher Fernando Espinosa, who doesn't seem to have a rocket arm or the ability to call a good game, but scouting reports have his bat power above average.

Cincinnati inked 19 yr old P.T. Martin, a pitcher who relies more on control that a blazing fastball.

Both have yet to be assigned.

The vote is in....

Team owners have spoken and have called me an idiot.

61% said another team will win the World Series.
(I wonder if they considered Monterrey or Cincinnati when voting)

This post brought to you by UHAUL.....

Boston and Detroit decided that it was time to swap some minor leaguers (possibly building for the future?).

Mike Marte joins Boston's AAA club bringing a .295 9 32 while Edgar James joins Detroit at the big league level (.277 10 55 in season 5 AA).

Meanwhile, Toronto continues to drop high priced veterans in search for younger prospects to continue the winning tradition. Leaving Toronto for Wichita ( don't pack a winter coat) is Derek Peterson (.750 1 4) joining Wichita's big club. Applying for work visas are Turner Martin (.231 2 20); Pep Leary (.380 8 21); and Pat Radlosky ( 1-3 4.98). Martin and Leary stay in AA while Radlosky moves up to AAA.

Nah nah nah nah... say goodbye...

Leaving Monterrey is SP Bobby Williams (0-2 11.25) and C/1B Alex Branson (.327 2 6).

It happens every spring......

Ah.... spring /summer in Monterrey. For the past three seasons the Desert Dawgs have teased the home crowds with glimpses of winning. Then like a classic Freddie Krueger movie... they viciously rip out our hearts. Case in point (for this season).....

Monterrey opens the season 3-7, rips off a nice 7-3 streak to take over first place in the AL SOUTH with a 10-10 record. Not a powerhouse record by any means but it brought a pride to this sleepy Mexican vacation oasis. The damn Dawgs then go 1-9 and are currently in the midst of a 6 game slide that once again has propelled them into last place.

If the past seasons are any indication, the Dawgs will go on two or three 8-10 winning streaks about mid season, before the eventual 13-15 game slide that dooms them once again.

A stroll down memory lane......

Whatever happened to the top five picks from last draft.....

1)HOU Juan Benitez (18yo P) given 4MIL bonus
After signing his contract, Juan proved almost immediate success for the Houston franchise. Last year in the RL he posted a 3-1 1.82 which got him a promotion to Lo-A where he posted 3-0 4.01. This year he's in Hi-A and is currently 5-0 2.54 ERA. GRADE A

2)BOS Trent Cairncross (18yo SS) given 5MIL bonus
Trent started with a flourish in the RL last year posting monster numbers (.393 6 27). After his promotion to Lo-A he showed it was no fluke posting .313 4 17. This year in Hi-A he once again is showing muscle (.341 10 44) GRADE A

3)HON Frank Cornelius (21yo CF) given 4.8MIL bonus
Following the top two picks in the draft Frank also did split time with RL and Lo-A last season. In the RL he showed great power in 34 games hitting .423 11 53 earning his bus ticket to Lo-A. There he only took it upon himself to post equal numbers (.324 11 43). This year he finds himself opening at Hi-A where 36 games into his season he's ONLY hitting .373 11 36. GRADE A

4)CIN Talmadge Logan (18yo P) given 3.7MIL bonus
Logan spent the entire year last season in RL where control seems to have eluded him (26 W 19SO). It was a frustrating year that saw him finish with a 0-2 6.94 record. Opening this season at Lo-A, he showed much improvement posting 1-1 2.12 in four starts, thus earning a trip to AA, where he's back to form (0-2 8.44). Cincinnati management has stated that he's still a young man trying to find himself within the rigors of the season. GRADE C-

5)MNT Lazy Doster (20yo P) given 3.6MIL bonus
Doster gave to the Monterrey franchise with high expectations, and the GM said that he was going to be brought along slowly to keep him fresh. Last season at the RL level he posted a 6-7 5.64 record in 21 starts. Showing signs of a powerful fastball also showed weakness in his SO vs. W ratio. He opens the season this year at AA where in 6 starts he's 2-3 with a 3.94 ERA. GRADE C

FREEDOM BRINGS SACRIFICE.....

Last week I received a call from a friend's wife. It seems that her husband, who did his best to call her every night and reassure her that he was safe and fine, missed two calls in a row. I emailed him almost constantly, not only because he was co-GM of my team here but he also ran a couple of my "other" teams in other leagues. I to, didn't get any messages.

Sgt. Bradley Skelton, 40, died of injuries sustained from an explosive device in Iraq. I bring this up because Brad was always a friend, baseball nut, and best bud when you needed it. He had an infectious laugh and was constantly needling me on some of the roster moves I made. Brad looked forward to coming home, actually being able to join in a league I had a team in, and kick my ass to prove that I should have stayed in soccer.

Freedom brings sacrifice.... friendship brings heartache.....loss brings sorrow.....

God bless Brad and all the others who gave all

Hey Brother can you spare a ........

Toronto and Hunington swapped young prospects in a trade that met little resistance from the league owners.

Now donning an Argonaut jersey is 23 yr old Ken Kidd (.301 5 30) who assigned him to AAA.
Looking stylish in the Mountaineers gear is 23 yr old Billy Dodd (2-0 6.67) bringing his youthful exhuberance to the Mountaineer's ML roster.

The CHILI needs ingredients.....

The Cincinnati Chili have been busy over the last forty eight hours adding three players in their possible stretch to a pennent. Said the Chili's head chef "We feel that we're only a few players short of playoff contention in all levels so hopefully these moves kick start our organization."

Trade no. 1
Chili get Stephen Carroll (23) P 2-1 4.63 ERA assigned to ML
Banana Slugs get Steve Dolan (23) 2B .205 5 15

Trade no.2
Chili get Teddy Ray (29) P 1-4 7.26 ERA assigned to ML
Scott Donnelly P 4-0 2.38 ERA assigned to AA
Baby Seals get Enrique Trevino (22) INF .291 7 25 assigned to AAA

We woulda named it the Titanic but it was used already...

Lowest Winning Pct. in League History

5. Cincinnati .423
4. Honolulu .420
3. Monterrey .417
2. Boston .346
1. Houston .337

* These do not reflect solely on the current owners but the franchise since inception.

Why use a bat .....

League leaders in offering up their bodies as target practice...

Luis Figueroa (FRE) 5

Dickey Yashian (MC) 5

Lorenzo Owen (SWB) 5

Four tied with 4

Fifteen tied with 3

They come and go.....

Cincinnati released pitcher Denny Leach (0-1 12.79)
Pittsburgh claimed pitcher Alex Perez (0-1 18.41) off waivers

Move 'em out......

SI.com reports that Detroit and Oklahoma City have put the finishing touches on a trade that to the naked observer looks to help Detroit right now and give O-City some help for the future. Detroit packaged Mickey Myette (0-3 6.08), Adam Wesson (.348 2 13), and Nerio Knobluach (.225 5 16) for Keith O'Neil (0-1 1.17 5 SV).

O'Neil reported to Detroit and should be available for the next game out of the bullpen.
Myette was sent to AAA, Wesson to AA, and Knoblauch to Hi-A.

In the Army now......

Monterrey today signed two pitchers from their tryout camp. Miguel Romero (20) and Deion Dunston (21) both signed minor league contracts and are awaiting their designations. Said Rookie League pitching coach Josias Johnson " Romero has a pretty good raw fastball while Dunston is a pinpoint artist. We think that with a couple of seasons in the minors (mostly RL and Lo-A) we might have found us a couple of diamonds"

Abner created the game with bats.....

Top ERA in both leagues

NL
Rey Whitman (TOR) 1.39
Darren Service (WAS) 2.03
Pedro Saenz (NY2) 2.16
Pedro Guardado (MC) 2.25
Neil Everett (TOR) 2.45

AL
Harold Mays (SD) 0.75
Garry Byrnes (TOL) 2.03
Alex Andujar (SD) 2.65
Brent Buck (PIT) 2.70
Gary Byrnes (SYR) 2.74

Calling George Mitchell...

Here are the top bombers in each league...

AL NL
Eric Riley (FRE) 14 Roland George (CHY) 10
Luis Alomar (CIN) 13 Kevin Key (NY2) 10
Del Taylor (CHR) 11 Dave Adams (TOR) 10
David Jose (SYR) 11 Four tied with 9
Ramon Lee (TOR) 11

Welcome to America

Honolulu signed international free agent EDGAR LUGO today to a three year contract worth $977,000 over 3 years. Lugo, a top pitcher in the Dominican Republic was assigned to their Low A team and placed into the no. 3 slot in the pitching staff. Honolulu GM vkhcougar was quoted as saying "Lugo brings a tight fastball and he can eat big innings for us. You'll be seeing this boy in the majors within 2 - 3 years"

Welcome to the News Page

Welcome all to our new RICE NOT LYNN news page. It has been a long time in coming, and it promises to be an exciting addition to our league. I will try to update at least once a day, and I welcome all owners to pass on any information that I may miss in the course of running my team and trying to keep up with trades and streaks and such.

Good Luck on the season and hope this page can kepp you entertained.